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Well, today was an interesting day, and quite an eventful one at that. I woke up around one and went downtown to meet w/ our counselor an hour later. She was super nice, and the session went really well. It was sweet to have an open enviornement where I felt like we were proactively working out our issues, whereas before, it had been difficult to confront him on some of the stuff that was bothering me. I realized, part way through, that I was taking all this openness to my advantage, though. I was getting a lot of stuff off my chest, and that was great and all, but luckily, I caught myself before I started "cutting deep" so to speak. My dad is not a bad person by any means; he loves me, and never meant to do any harm. I felt awful because a part of me wanted to lash out at him, despite how much I love my father. I feel so grateful just have been able to realize that, because what I truly want is just to return everything to harmony, and should I have just lashed out in anger, sure, I might have felt better in the moment, but in the end, much, much worse.

Things just got better after that. Dad asked me if I wanted to do anything while we were downtown, so I mentioned checking out a scooter store that was a few minutes away. The guy who helped us there was really nice. He was originally from Germany, and was very honest and helpful. It definitely worked in my favor because it helped Dad to get a little more interested, which made me happy, because I really want to have something fun to zip around on when its nice out. We found one, a 150, that was really nice and I took it for a test drive. It had a lot of power for a scooter, and I had a blast passing cars and zooming around SE Portland.

On our way back home, Dad called Rose and said he was going to stop for a beer; I guessed that meant both of us, which made me happy because it meant something fun for us to do together. We walked into this place, the name of which I forget, thats right by the old Loveland, and put our jackets down at a table in the back. He went to take a leak, and told me to get a pitcher. The place was packed with people who were all at least six or seven years older than I am, loud music playing (the yeah yeah yeah's, which was cool) so I felt a little bit nervous heading up to the bar. Some guy came out and asked what I wanted; I had no idea what to order so I just said "how about a pitcher of bud?" He said, "well, if you want shitty beer we have miller high life." When I heard that, I was a bit embarassed, haha. He handed me a menu and I browsed it over, and luckily, my dad came to my rescue so I didn't look like such an idiot. We ordered a nice IPA, walked towards the back, and started up a game of pool.

It was almost perfect. Here I am, having only been 21 for a week, playing pool with my Dad, getting drunk off good beer in the middle of the afternoon. My Dad and I would bullshit with each other as we were playing, acting like cocky bastards.. it was great fun. A mixed-race couple, a black man and asian woman, were watching us playing, getting a kick out of the whole father-son rivalry thing that was going on. I ended up taking him on two games, he took me on one; I won three bucks. We finished the pitcher of beer and headed to go home. I was pretty drunk, and hadn't eaten lunch so everything had hit me pretty fast. As we walked out of the bar, I looked over and said to my dad, "its been far too long since I've been drunk and still been able to see the light of day." He laughed, and we hopped in the car.

Later, we went over to dinner at Nathan's new place, which was fun. He made a pretty good dinner and we had fun bullshitting. We watched about half an hour of 300, cracking jokes at the overly dramatized fighting scenes and skimpy outfits, and left pleased.

I'm at home right now, watching Romeo and Juliet while happily writing this journal entry. This is a great way to end the day. Well, it was, until Romeo just drank the poison and Juliet woke up to see him do it. I guess thats the nature of trageties. I prefer happy endings, haha.

I just finished talking to Monica. I'm still a bit frustrated from her emotional unavailablity when talking to me, but I'm learning to deal with it. Either its gonna work or its not, but either way, I am going to feel pretty good about what hpapened. I like her a lot, but I'm not at the stage where I'm really emotionally invested to where I could get hurt. I more at a prospective stage, where I think that there might be something there, and I'm testing the water, but won't feel too bad if its too cold to jump in.

In any events, I'm not going to let it bother me. I got good and drunk, made some good progress w/ Dad and my relationships today, and feel good about who I was today.

Beautiful stuff.


Cordon Bleu

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