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Haven't journaled for a few days.. I guess I found myself getting bored of it. I've been out of sorts for the past few days. Yesterday was pretty good; I wrote my dad a song for father's day, which he really liked. I've been writing a lot of new songs.. I wrote a new one called "Bali" today. I just did a cover of "Don't Worry, Be Happy" in a punkish version a minute ago, and was pretty pleased as to how it came out.

Fuck, I find myself wanting to complain all day and its really getting to me, lol. I hate being a downer. Ugh. I've been hella lonely, and I think I just need a girlfriend or something. Either that, or just a really good friend. My dad and I haven't really been getting a lot, and I've been feeling osme hardcore cabin fever. My dad and I are getting along okay, but he seems to come home from work grumpy quite a bit, and it rubs off on me somewhat, unfortunately.

My stepmom uttered some shit at dinner tonight which really pissed me off. She asid, "we just paid a lot for you to go to LeapYear." I was angry because SHE didn't pay a fucking dime, that I'm aware of. It was 100% my dad, and I'm even more angry because she doesn't have to contribute to anything. She works for my dad, yeah, but she doesn't have a car (so doesn't have to pay for gas), she doesn't have to pay for groceries, insurance, rent, NOTHING! I am fuming with hatred towards her.

Ah, felt somewhat better to get that out. I had some bomb rasberry cheesecake icecream from Cold Stone tonight. Kam and I went down there, grubbed out, then went to Powell's to look at books. We had fun. I think I really do need to get out more, because my house seems to have a really negative effect on my mood. I guess I'm just sick of being here all the time. At least I get to work tomorrow... hah, GET to work. Maybe I should think about moving out more seriously...

Anyway, I'm already burnt out on writing. I haven't had much spirit lately, sadly. I think, deep down, I erally miss Bali, I'm really fucking lonely and emotionally blocked. I'm living at home, somewhre where I don't feel open enough to express myself, and constantly feel empty inside. Fuck, I wish I had someone to just cuddle with right now. lol.


Cordon Bleu

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