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Sheesh, I'm exhausted. Its funny how I tend to be the most tired on days that I'm the laziest... oh, the irony. I also just came out of meditation, so a little sluggishness is to be expected.

Well, my days with Monica have come to an end. I've virtually given up on her. Trying to pursue anything is basically a waste of time; all she does is hang out with her ex boyfriends and smoke weed now. Thats not the type of girl i want. Additionally, shes dishonest and never follows through with what she says shes going to do. Its annoying, and irritating, and I've had enough!

Woo, enough ranting about girls. I've made aquaintances with a new girl, Aleks. We've been talking a lot on instant messenger, which I've enjoyed a lot. I love making her laugh. She says shes going to wrastle me to the ground when I finally meet her, but we'll see. I have a feeling that things between us are going to be intimate. Shes independent, works, has her own place, and has a good attitude, not to mention being really pretty. I'm looking forward to finally meeting her.

I went to see my acupuncturist yesterday and had a really great session. Leah put needles in my adrenal glands (not directly, but in the spot that works for them) and I felt a huge difference. I've been much more calm since then, and have been happier and productive too. I can actually feel them, now, and they're starting to want to open up again. It sucks, but at least I know what has been causing me so many problems and how to combat it.

The only thing has been bothering me otherwise has been the weird feeling around my ears and the headahces, but that ain't no thang. I've learned to cope with it and I can last longer if I need to. Oh yeah, theres this weird, pulsating pain in my left hamstring, on the outside edge of my leg. Nothing to worry about, I'm sure, but its bothersome.

I'm sleepy, as usual. I think I overslept or something, because I woke up at 6 and felt great, got some milka nd yogurt, then when I woke up for real at 1, I was all tired and still am.

Oh yeah, I have ean interview with Verizon tomorrow at 10:30. Its a little early for me, but I'm sure I can deal with it. Its out in tigard at their office. I hope I won't have to commute out there every day, but I suppose I will if I have to. Dad might get me a moped to do it, so that would make things much more pleasurable. He did, after all, agree to getting me one should I aquire a job.

I've been thinking a lot about what my next step is going to be. I"d really like to move out and get a place with Kam. That is my first goal, just to get out on my own and experience living by myself for once. After that, I'm thinking pretty seriously about pilot training, for either airlife or one of the news stations. Its a little bit worrysome for me, because I'm not sure how easy it is to get a job as a pilot, but if nothing else works, I'll join the coast guard. Errr, fuck that, I don't wanna work in the military. It sounds like hell, to me, and I've alraedy been there before and haven't liked it.

I heard a really good quote from this movie, Little Miss Sunshine, today. The main character was talking about the Proust person, who I'm not sure is, and how he said the best years of his lfie were the ones when he was suffering, because they were the ones that made him the man that he was then. I bet theres going ot be some truth to that in my life. Whenever I overcome whatever ailment this is that has its grip on me, I'm sure I'm going to be a lot stronger, wiser, and better because of it.

I'm starving. I have lost some weight since I got home, and I really want to put it back on. I miss having my big, thick belly and feeling more confident (i'm self conscious about being skinny). I'm sure if I keep eating, or start eating like I used to, I'll gain some weight eventually, but its hard. I need to eat full meals insteada of snacking and get on a more regular basis.

Anyway, Dad's out with grandpa at the hospital getting his checkup. He broke his shoulder last week and hasn'ty been doing well. I feel awful for him. Hes all alone and is pretty banged up. If I were him, I would probably be really depressed. Oh yeah, I got codename: eagle installed last night, and am SUPER stoked! Its just how I remembered it, almost better. I love that game so much, and I'm stoked to be able to play it again. I'm sure jake is too, and we're gonna get down on some sweet lannage soon, I hope.


Cordon Bleu

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